I want to add a few things about your puzzle specifically, as I think Bob did a great job with his "General Tips" section so I don't feel it's necessary to mention anything more there.
1. The setup wasn't prepared well
Even though I think the first part of your puzzle was a very neat touch, the way it was presented made almost no sense. Why in the world would she list the street she was on encrypted in her "reach me" section? Even more so, why would she list the address of the restaurant she was at as her age? The numbers were all pretty randomly placed, and even though the first part was fairly interesting, it wasn't at all intuitive. Whenever you make a puzzle, you should think about how you're setting it up and if it's actually making sense. If you're just arbitrarily putting text into fields without considering why it's there, then you might want to reconsider your initial approach.
2. The parts varied too much in specificity
As has already been said, I think the first part of your puzzle was the most successful. However, the answer of "she was probably at the bookstore because she likes to read" is just an inference rather than puzzle solving - it doesn't really take any working out or understanding, instead being a stab in the dark based on limited previous knowledge. This is not a good way to make a puzzle. Preferably the puzzle will have a definitive answer that everyone can look at and understand how the answer came to be. The third part of your puzzle, on the other hand, was way too specific. I've never heard of the restaurant in question, and even if I had, how was I supposed to know the address of it? When parts of your puzzle turn out to be rather obscure knowledge, people who spent awhile working on it to no avail will be left with a bitter taste in their mouth. I think you should stick with the sweet spot of the first section of your puzzle - a cryptic, yet intuitive, answer that anyone can reasonably solve.
Note that there's an exception here when referring to literature, movies, or pop culture in general. If you want to make a puzzle based on a book series that not everyone has read, that's totally fine - just make sure it's a series that enough people have read such that there will be someone that can answer the question.
3. Presentation is important (thanks, Bob)
One of the biggest issues with your question is that the image was not incredibly well-prepared for Puzzling.SE. The quality is not a premium, some words are misspelled, and the overall layout isn't fantastic. There's totally nothing wrong with an image representing the question, but make sure it's high-quality enough that it won't be a turnoff for people looking to solve your puzzle. If you're at all worried about the quality of your image, you can always take feedback from other people before uploading it - or, if the image really isn't required, leave it in text form so that the community can tune up the grammar and spelling and make the question perfect. They're pretty good at that!
An important note to end on: Don't misconstrue downvotes as people saying that they don't want you here. Every member of our community is important, and of course that includes you! (You referencing specifically Moudiz, but also every single person reading this.) The downvotes just mean that the question has some areas that need work, which is totally okay. You gave a very level-headed response to the criticism by asking how to improve your question, and hopefully we've been able to help. I look very much forward to seeing what puzzles you bring to us here at PSE in the future!